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How To Tell Someone They’re Wrong

August 17th, 2012 by Kennedy

At work and in home-life we sometimes hear someone say something that we disagree with. How we handle that will change the way the rest of that conversation goes. So how do you do say “sorry that’s not it at all,” without causing the other person to clam up or get argumentative?

I’ve written a number of times on the subject of Consistency. It is this same Consistency that causes the argument if not dealt with correctly.

You see, us humans have this need to stand by what we say, and even defend it. In some cases those who were studied would rather lie to a ridiculous extent, than go back on their original word.

We all do it.

Let’s say a member of our work team has come to us with something they believe is a cracking suggestion, but you know for one reason or another it won’t work. Shooting them down in flames will cause tension that you simply don’t need. There is another way.

Forget Your Butt

If you listen to the person and then say “but I realised that won’t work because….” then the person will focus on all of those things after the word ‘but’ and feel bad. There is a simple change you can make.

Rather than the word ‘but’ use the word ‘and’, now your reply comes across not as a disagreement, but from a place of agreement.

In this example “and that would be a great idea if the…” and then go in to detail about when their suggestion would be a great idea.

Another way of using it is to say “and I used to think that until I tried it and here’s what happened” – again you are not coming across as superior or condescending, but showing that you too used to think that way and you are going to share your findings.

So when you disagree with someone, leave your but out of it, and put in an ‘and’ instead. As usual, come from a place of agreement. Always.

Amy Evans
Amy Evans
14:54 15 Mar 17
Kennedy was very professional, really entertaining and completely different to what we have booked in the past in terms of an after dinner speaker and entertainment. The performance amazed the whole audience and really lifted the spirits in the entire room in time for our formal proceedings.I would definitely recommend Kennedy to anyone looking for corporate entertainment.
james Sheeran
james Sheeran
08:35 16 Mar 17
What a fantastic night’s entertainment Mind of Kennedy provided. Some of the stuff he did is still being talked about at our company days after! Make sure you book him for your corporate event; you won’t be disappointed!
Kerry Celeste
Kerry Celeste
11:10 09 Feb 17
Absolutely spectacular show! Never seen anything like it. We were all mesmerised from beginning to end. I can highly recommend Kennedy’s show to anyone looking for entertainment for a party, wedding or corporate event. He really was outstanding and kept us all laughing & on the edge of our seats all night!
IAmy Amy
IAmy Amy
11:41 24 Aug 16
Jane Bradshaw
Jane Bradshaw
12:44 10 Jul 17
(Feedback about our ruby wedding party last night) – Kennedy was absolutely fantastic. Not only did he work the room really well, and include people from different parts of the room, which is so important, but also he was an absolute delight to work with before, during and after the event... no trouble at all and completely accommodating. The act was tremendous and I love the idea that all our guests are sitting at home today over the Sunday papers, saying "how did he do that?!" I would have no hesitation in recommending Kennedy to anyone I know. Best wishes and thanks again to Kennedy for entertaining all our guests so well at our party. Jane & Pete Bradshaw
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