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Tea – How Do You Like Yours?

July 12th, 2012 by Kennedy

It was Doris Day who sang about Tea For Two.

What?  You can’t remember it?   Oh please…..

“Picture me, upon your knee

With tea for two and two for tea…..”

It’s a bit of a classic really – oo, and by the way, nice sofa Doris.

Trouble is – would there be a drama if I sat on your knee?  Well, there might be coz I’m quite particular ‘bout who’s knee I’ll sit on and we’ve not even got to the tea bit yet.

You shouldn’t take things like tea for granted, are you a milk then tea or tea then milk sorta person?  It’s serious stuff this tea nonsense.

Now don’t go all sniffy – it really is important you know, but to understand exactly how important you need a bit of history under your belt.

History

Don’t worry, not the Simon Scharma type of blood and guts history, it’s about tea and why we came to love it so much in this country over and above just about any other place on the planet.

Tea was widely drunk by a certain type of person in the 19th century.  Today we have ladies wot lunch, then they had aristos who took tea.  It all started with the Anna Maria Russell, Duchess of Bedford, Gawd Bless ya Maam, she was all feathers and bee sting pout don’t ya think.

Before long everyone was taking tea – not drinking it mind you – taking it….

Then, where the wealthy trod the common man  followed and they started taking tea as well.  One problem though.  Common mans earthenware pots just wouldn’t stand the boiling hot tea.  Mugs would shatter, children would get scalded – you know the sort of thing – and the only thing Joe Public could do was put the milk in first to cool the tea down.

It’s the truth – it was on Antiques Roadshow once – honest.

Just one of my Things

Any road up, it’s given rise to one of my real “things”.  You know, the “things” that drive you to complete distraction.   I just go into meltdown if the bronzed beverage isn’t made EXACTLY the right way.  I can even feel my blood pressure rising as I think of all those who dunk a bag in a mug and have done with it.

How can you expect tea made like that to be anything worth sitting down with a Duchess for?

If you want me sitting on your knee this is the way it needs to be

  • Freshly boiled water, boiled and not boiling there is a difference you know, and don’t bother with a stale old kettle load  – change the water before you use it.  Don’t expect me to drink it otherwise.
  • Warm the pot – if you ain’t got a pot, get one.  You’re not drinking tea at a burger joint in a geasy spoon, this is serious stuff.
  • Use enough tea, one teaspoon per person and don’t forget one for the pot – if you really must I’ll take tea bags but don’t start taking advantage of my good nature
  • Fill the pot up and cover it with a tea cosy – don’t argue – if you haven’t got one you’re a no mark – Just get on eBay and find one
  • Wait – yes wait for it – good tea takes planning ahead ask the Duchess, she knows
  • Get your mugs out for the boys
  • Now – are you milk first or tea first?  Tea first. Always.
  • Not yet – still not ready, 4 minutes exactly
  • Take the cosy off, remove lid and stir for the last drop of flavour
  • Pour
  • Now add 2 lumps of sugar. Lumps yes, and two there must be. Always sugar before the milk, it dissolves so much better that way.
  • Now add that milk until it has a warm rouge to it.
  • And last but not least – top up the pot coz it’ll be the best tea you’ve ever drunk and you’ll want another cup

Never mind that lemon nonsense.  If we’d been meant to drink it with lemon they’d grow lemons in India. Sri Lanka and China and they don’t.

What’s your view on tea?  Milk first or tea first, cucumber sandwiches with the crusts on or cut off?  Go on, let me know below…

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Amy Evans
Amy Evans
14:54 15 Mar 17
Kennedy was very professional, really entertaining and completely different to what we have booked in the past in terms of an after dinner speaker and entertainment. The performance amazed the whole audience and really lifted the spirits in the entire room in time for our formal proceedings.I would definitely recommend Kennedy to anyone looking for corporate entertainment.
james Sheeran
james Sheeran
08:35 16 Mar 17
What a fantastic night’s entertainment Mind of Kennedy provided. Some of the stuff he did is still being talked about at our company days after! Make sure you book him for your corporate event; you won’t be disappointed!
Kerry Celeste
Kerry Celeste
11:10 09 Feb 17
Absolutely spectacular show! Never seen anything like it. We were all mesmerised from beginning to end. I can highly recommend Kennedy’s show to anyone looking for entertainment for a party, wedding or corporate event. He really was outstanding and kept us all laughing & on the edge of our seats all night!
IAmy Amy
IAmy Amy
11:41 24 Aug 16
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